This Article is presented by: Lemarc Thomas
Lemarc Thomas is a relationship expert and leading international matchmaker, combing the science of love with the art of matchmaking to provide a conscious approach to finding love.
Oh wow, there are so many great things you can do at home with your partner. Whether spontaneous or putting together an awesome plan for a date night, below you’ll find some ideas to inspire different ways of connecting.
First, it might be helpful to agree on the type of date that you are going for. What do you both need from this time together? Do you need connection, intimacy, touch or an emotional release? Do you need to re-align, dream, share or visualise your future? Be creative and experimental and you will find a multitude of ways to meet each others’ needs.
What I share below are some of the ideas I suggest to clients whom I have matched as they continue to explore each other and deepen their relationship. Feel free to make these yours. If you try something that does not work, stop, take a break and try something else. Choose one thing to try or create a full menu for an evening together.
Ideas for Connection
Get a timer and set the clock to four minutes. Each person takes four minutes to share what is going on in your world right now. The other just listens and says “thank you for sharing” at the end of the four minutes.
Set a timer for four minutes, find a comfortable position to sit and face each other and gaze into each other’s eyes for four minutes. You may be uncomfortable and giggly at first but stay with it and see where it takes you.
Each takes turns asking the other a question about yourselves. If your partner gets the question right they get a point. If they get it wrong they take off an item of clothing. The idea is to get to know each other again, even if you have been together for a long time – update what you think you know about each other. This helps build a friendship system that makes couples more resilient.
How about a singalong? My husband and I love to sing together. We each take turns choosing and playing a song whilst singing along with the lyrics on our laptops.
Why not perform for each other!? One chooses a song and the other performs it through singing, dancing, or however you want – you have creative freedom as the performer – perhaps even miming or drawing.
Life drawing class
Take turns to draw each other.
Ideas for relationship management
Weekly team meeting
Start by doing a connection exercise such as the 4-minute sharing or eye gazing. Next share what you have appreciated over the last week. Then set an agenda and discuss the things you need to talk about it. End by sharing how you would like to be loved in the coming week.
Similar to the above, you can take time to go through the higher-level stuff in your relationship, a great example is shared projects such as starting a family.
Take 5- 10 minutes to meditate together holding hands. Then take another 5 minutes to visualise your shared future. You could agree to visualise your general future, or something specific, such as the type of parents you will be. Then share with each other the future you saw.
Pelvic floor dancing
Do you like wrestling with your partner? I don’t know about you, but often I find that one person gets hurt. Instead of wresting, try dance. Put on some great music, lie on the floor and move to the music. Two rules, 1 – even if it’s just a fingertip, you have to maintain some physical contact with your partner, and 2 – you can’t be more upright than being on your hands and knees.
Check out Betty Martin’s wheel of consent and then try the three-minute game together. In this game you are exploring giving, receiving, taking and allowing within each person’s boundaries. Watch the video together and then try asking each other:
What would you like me to do to you for three minutes?
What would you like to do to me for three minutes?
Would you do… to me for 3 minutes?
May I do… to you for 3 minutes?
Give your partner the gift of a sensory experience. Sets up a room with music, candles and whatever will make it yummy.
Ask your partner to collect 5 random objects from around the house and invite them to enter the room. Without getting into a conversation, ask them to place each object carefully next to the bed.
Invite your partner to cover any area that they do not want to be touched and leave naked any area that they are open to you touching. They may change this during the experience.
Ask your partner for consent to blindfold them and invite them to lie down on the bed/ space you have created.
You will then take 20 minutes to use the objects your partner has collected to spoil their senses. It is helpful to have some massage oil and use your hands in combination with the objects. For example, if one of the objects is an orange you might massage them with the orange, and then peel the orange to give the pleasure of the smell, you might even end with inviting them to taste the orange.
The receiver must be clear in communicating boundaries and consent which may change throughout the exercise.